Survival is everything. All other activities are superfluous.

When the Little Man came to live with us, aged 6, he had neither functioning literacy nor numeracy. He was indifferent to Biff and Chip, and had nothing but disdain for their magic key. Horrible Histories failed to enthuse and Dora’s explorations passed him by. Tom and Jerry, with its simple plot lines and fast paced music was more popular. The fact that each episode is 3 minutes long added to the appeal.

Reading ages, milestones, percentiles, and ‘progress over time’ became something we deliberately and consciously chose to ignore.

However, we did learn to celebrate and record any positive advance, even if it may have seemed minuscule and apparently irrelevant.

Leaving the house without a ‘transition meltdown’, putting on His shoes Himself, remembering the 4 digit code to use an iPad and occasionally holding eye contact with an unknown adult all told us we were getting somewhere.

More or less on His own, our Little Man developed strategies for dealing with 21st Century life.

Emojis and Voice Software took the place of literacy.

Using a Revolut bank card and a phone calculator meant phone cases, sweets and crisps could all be purchased without needing to understand the maths of cash. Shops where you scan your shopping yourself and pay with a card have all added to His independence. There’s no need for interaction with another human.

This is a classic attitude of someone who is emerging from trauma. Survival is everything. All other activities are superfluous.

It became obvious that our Little Man had an entirely efficient approach to life. If He needed to do something or find something out, He would develop a strategy to meet that end. He did nothing, or at least very little, if He saw no benefit to Himself.

We also noticed big emotions were to be avoided.

Birthdays, whether His or somebody else’s, Christmas, end of terms, parties or even ‘the weekend’ had to be mentioned and managed cautiously.

Excitement is a luxury only enjoyed by those who have known predictability.

However, slowly, perhaps glacially, things began to change.

As the Little Man began to feel safe in our home, His ability to read, write, and occasionally count, developed. He has to be in a safe place and be with people He entirely trusts but He can read texts, menus, signs and is more than able to navigate both the Amazon and EBay websites.

As the Little Man has begun to realise our home is safe enough and predictable enough, He has even begun to risk getting excited.

For the first time this summer, we were able to play Monopoly Deal, Uno, and a variety of other games promising fun for all the family.

Our Little Man has the numeracy and the literacy to follow what’s going on.

Perhaps more excitingly, he has developed the emotional resilience to cope with both winning and losing.

Now, that’s progress.

He’s been with us 10 years.