Collect the golden moments, guard them as the precious things they are, write them down, speak of them often, and remember them. Hold them tightly.
This is not quite a biblical quote, nor is it an inspirational poster or piece of artwork from any modern day equivalent of Athena.
It’s a bit of advice that I got from a friend.
Remembering the golden moments is an act of self-care and survival.
It’s also fun.
Some people count their children’s achievements in terms of GCSES, A Levels, goals scored, ballet moves mastered, and whether they’ve had offers from both Oxford and Cambridge.
We use a different system.
Our system is called ‘Did anything good happen?’.
‘Anything at all?’
The whole day doesn’t have to be better.
In fact, you may have lurched from unmitigated disaster to unmitigated disaster.
But if one tiny tiny positive happened, grab it, and focus on it.
The positive may even be ‘the absence of complete and utter chaos’.
For example, on this very day, in fact, just now, The Little Man answered the door to The Amazon Delivery Person.
He took the package and said thank you.
He didn’t hold eye contact, or shake hands or become life long friends, but this was undeniably an interaction with a ‘stranger’.
And perhaps of even greater significance, he told me and my wife, individually, with undoubted pride in his voice, and a small grin on his face, what he’d just done.
What a great moment.
He’s been with us exactly 8 years.
He’s 14.
Fostering and adopting with phil 