There are two ways of going swimming in the sea:-
1. Launch yourself in without a care in the world.
2. Tip toe in a bit, squeal a bit, tip toe in a bit further, point out it’s cold, tip toe up to your knees, splash about a bit, do a little jump when a wave comes, tip toe in a bit further and then decide to make the plunge OR decide that knee deep is more than enough.
Fostering is nearly the same.
All foster carers go through the same Approval Process, but not all foster carers do the same sort of fostering.
Respite or part time fostering is a great way to start. Rather like paddling into the sea, you will probably get a lot more information before you fully commit. Typically, although not always, you would foster a specific child for a specific period of time.
We once fostered a young boy who was already in foster care and had been all his life. His long term (permanent) foster carer was going into hospital for an operation.
We were asked if we could foster him for the week of the operation.
We visited him at his permanent foster carer’s a week before he came to stay. He then came to our house for tea. We showed him the room where he’d be staying and helped him become familiar with our home.
He got to know us and we got to know him. This made the whole experience far less imposing for him and for us.
Respite or part time fostering works for foster carers who are keen to care for a child but may have work or other commitments that mean they cannot look after children on a full time basis.
Short term or ‘time limited’ fostering can last from one day to two years.
Long term has no time limit other than when a child leaves care.
It would be lovely to say that all children fit neatly into compartments, but they very very rarely do.
Whilst a child is safely and perhaps even happily living with you, social workers, solicitors and the judicial system are working on something called the ‘care plan’.
No generalisation, however vague, can truly give a detailed explanation of what this means. It varies from child to child.
Ultimately a group of adults are trying to make decisions which will be most beneficial to a child in very trying circumstances.
Can a child return home to their birth parents? Is there another family member or family friend who can step in and look after them? Is adoption the best option?
A Social Worker dropped a six year old off at our house on a Friday afternoon.
He’d arrived in the Care System with very little warning, and the ‘care plan’ was to keep him safe and help him know he was safe.
A week went by.
A month went by.
It became apparent that he could never return home to his birth family.
It became apparent that there were no other family or friends who could look after him.
The months he was with us became a year.
It became apparent that he was happy living with us and we were happy living with him.
‘The short term basis’ became a long term plan.
Ten years later, he’s still with us.
Fostering and adopting with phil 